Blog

Invisible or hidden?

By Tony Hughes

Since recognising how I felt about no longer being able to have children I have been caught between being ‘hidden’ and being ‘invisible’ to those around me. This double-edged sword takes some navigating. But there is no road map is there? Last year I referred to those who attended the first Conference as Pioneers. And…

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Dandelions

By Tony Hughes

When I see dandelions it puts me in mind of many things, as well as a feeling of reflection. These are just a few……… I see it move in slow motion, gently, quietly, peacefully. Like the internal feeling I hope to have one day when I have come to terms never knowing my not-born children.…

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On Ritual……

By Tony Hughes

One of the regular reminders of my not having had children centres around ritual. Societies, cultures, communities and individuals function through customs of one sort or another. In our society I see that raising children dictates so much. By necessity. Organising life around the school day, holidays, social activities, financial considerations, even where one might…

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Childless by Circumstance

The Moment Reality Hits

By Tony Hughes

I discovered I was grieving my not-born children in August 2014. Only then did I realise what the profound, yet indescribable pain was that I’d been feeling for a long time. The kind that has you prostrate on your kitchen floor, your arms wrapped round your empty abdomen, rocking back and forth crying uncontrollably and…

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Somethings got to give…hasn’t it??

By Tony Hughes

I didn’t know it was grief when it started to hit me. Why would I? No living person I knew had recently passed away. Not being inclined to social media nor one to spend much time ‘Google-ing’ I wasn’t searching for an explanation for my feeling of unrelenting deep sadness. But I did glance at…

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